It doesn’t….Time heals nothing…..It just teaches us how to deal with our pain.
Today would have been our 44th wedding anniversary…. that wasn’t to be. But I am thankful to God for the 36 years we were together. Whichever dimension Anita is in now, I am sure she is spreading her love and happiness. And that she is proud of me that I am doing the same. She taught me well.
Anita was not only beautiful and loving she was very talented. In fact she is the most talented person I ever met. She was a master in music (instrumental), she sang, she painted, she wrote, she had green fingers, she knew pottery and she was an actor…. plus plus …Whatever she started she became good at it. I am sure if she had started to blog she would have been very popular. Any body who met her even once didn’t forget her.
She used to teach painting and music in Delhi and used to have her own classes. We moved to Pune in 1993 for my job and she had to stop those classes. In Pune she learned pottery. And then my job took me to Mumbai and she started to act. She made more than 80 commercials and about 30 serials on TV in 6-7 years. And then she started to act in movies. Did 6-7 and then she fell sick. She was ready to leave all her work and look after my parents at Chandigarh, in North India. But that wasn’t to be. Who knows they are together in some other dimension now. And I remember them with all my love. Am blessed that I had parents like mine and a wife like Anita. And God willing we shall be together again at some other time, in some other dimension…
She had said to me once : Ashok when we grow old we aren’t going to fight, we are going to live like good friends and grow old gracefully 😊🤗 Who knows what would have our fate been if she was still around. So very often I think that the love that I feel in my heart for all, is her gift to me. She, like my mom, was just love.
We have no clue about birth and death. From where do we come and where do we go. Why do we come and why do we go? Who knows !! But I do believe life is much bigger and more complex than we see on our small piece of rock.
But we are here. And let us do our best to make our lives worthy. Let us be happy and grateful. Let us be giving and caring. Let us be kind.
…..pain is a given … in this world of duality. No one can escape it. But we can help each other to lessen the pain…to make it bearable.
Pain is a given, yes. But suffering is our own creation. Many of us make our pains our suffering by the quality of the thoughts we bring to our pain.
I think being on the spiritual path helped us both. Otherwise the 5-6 years of the pain she went through and the 8 years since she passed on, would have been much more difficult to go through. Being spiritual, being godly doesn’t mean that we will be spared our pain; but it does help us to rise above the pain and the suffering. We start to look at life from a different perspective. We start to know the ephemeral nature of life and start to live more deeply. We become more mindful.
And slowly we start to understand Time. We start to live in the Now. This moment, the Now….the only reality. Past and future are mere mind constructs. Both aren’t real.
All our regrets come from living in the past and all our worries come from thinking about the future. Both aren’t real. But they make our present, the only reality, miserable.
Those weren’t easy years. Specially the last – 2011 (her disease was diagnosed in 2006) A bit of me died every day. Every day I left for work and kissed her bye …I knew one day it would be the last. And when I returned home in the evening it was even tougher. I didn’t know how she would be feeling and looking and didn’t want my face to betray my emotions and reactions. So I would brace myself before opening the door; bring a smile on my face and pray and then step in…
I can think of hundreds of things I could have done better for her and with her. But making myself miserable and unhappy thinking about the past and what could have been, neither helps me nor her. It would just make me miserable and I will make everyone around me the same.
But with His grace
I chose life
I chose love
I chose happiness
I chose giving
I chose caring
Thank God, my friend,
You are alive,
You can read and write;
Walk and talk.
Get up and get going.
Spread your cheer.
Let you light shine.
Tell people you love them.
Go and hug them.
This day is yours,
Death is very real and
Life so fragile ….
…….TIME CONSUMES ALL