I Feel Guilty

It may sound strange but I do feel guilty at times — I feel guilty for all the love, joy, friendship, care, health — all kind of abundance I have — when there is so much pain and suffering all around. God has always been so kind to me 🙏

There is child abuse, spouse abuse, sickness, joblessness, all kinds of addictions, poverty and what not. There is no end to pain and suffering 😌 There is so very little that I can do and it hurts.

Decades ago my father had gifted me biography of Helen Keller. And her saying: I am one person and I can’t do everything; but just because I can’t do everything doesn’t mean I will refuse to do what I can…. has been my guiding light for decades now.

I have learned to do my best for anyone and everyone that I can, and then let go. And in my meditations (During all SRF and YSS meditation we pray for others and world peace) and I pray for others– family, friends and world at large. Can I or we do anything more?

As I keep writing often : For me God is Love and Service is the active expression of Love. And my religion is Kindness and Compassion. And I also know that in our world of duality Pleasure and Pain coexist. But still there are times when I feel a little guilty of all that I have and see so much lack all around.

If I was given a boon: what is it that I would want different in my life than what I had; I would say – NOTHING. If I could go back all the way and re-live my life, I would want nothing different.

I was blessed to have divinely loving parents, loving and caring siblings, a beautiful and loving wife, loving and caring children, scores of good friends and relations, reasonably good health, enough of material comforts, a divine guru in Paramahansa Yogananda….no, I wouldn’t want anything different.

The only thing I would pray to have more of is – Wisdom. I would have liked to be wiser so that I could have been more appreciative of my good fortune when I was younger.

Even these past few months of being at home all the time have been so blessed. I can read, write and meditate all the time. I have no responsibilities. I am tempted to take credit for the decision to quit the corporate rat race long back in 1998 and the decision to leave Mumbai and move to Pune to be with children in 2014; but even these thoughts and decisions were His grace 🙏

I hope and pray, my friend, that God gives you an equal or more abundant life.

Peace unto all 🙏

10 thoughts on “I Feel Guilty

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  1. That is so sweet of you Sri. You are always so kind to me. These words mean a lot to me. Lots of love and blessings

  2. Uncle lucky are those and they must have done something good in their previous life that God gave the chance to meet a Divine Human being like you…I feel lucky to be one….I am sure there’s none in this world who have met you and have not felt blessed……i am sure everyone who meets you get a feeling that “is this how God looks”….you’ve only known how to help others…mere smile of your’s have given relief to many I’m sure…..the feel of your presence around is like a divine aroma that lasts sooo long cleansing oneself everytime…..lucky is Gautam and family who can feel your presence everytime…..lots of love and prayer for your well being…..

  3. Uncle lucky are those and they must have done something good in their previous life that God gave the chance to meet a Divine Human being like you…I feel lucky to be one….I am sure there’s none in this world who have met you and have not felt blessed……i am sure everyone who meets you get a feeling that “is this how God looks”….you’ve only knew how to help others…mere smile of your’s have given relief to many I’m sure…..the feel of your presence around is like a divine aroma that lasts sooo long cleansing oneself everyone…..luck is Gautam and family who can feel your presence everyone…..lots of love and prayer for your well being…..

  4. You are so sweet Himangi. Thank you so much for your kind words and love. You shall always remain in my prayers 🤗🙏

  5. Uncle you always pray from your heart and You are such a beautiful Soul. I will always be thankful to you and your prayers for helping me get thru Difficult phase.. 🙏

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