Afraid to die…

They are afraid to die

Because they never

Really lived.

And one day

They will be buried

Under the debris

Of their very own selves.

They would be gone

Unsung

Unfulfilled

As if

They never came.

Who are these people

But the ignorant ones,

Of their own beauty

And their light.

Oh unhappy fate

That makes them love

Their ways dark.

Guide me my Lord

How to help them,

I know not what to do

In this — Your play divine!

Pic credit Stefen Stassov

Friends or Soul Connects 💕

Life is an adventure in friendship. Every person we meet, let us make him a friend. There are no strangers; there are only friends-in- the making

Dada Vaswani

You may enjoy this post more if you first read my earlier post: Time heals nothing …. and HOPE and WAIT

Anita and I used to talk often about souls and life after death, incarnation etc. Both of us had read and loved Dr. Bryan Weiss’s – Many Lives Many Masters. One day, in 2010, a friend of mine presented me with Laws of The Spirit World by Khorshed Bhavnagri. It sounded so true and was very helpful. Both of us read it, though she used to get tired very quickly. By this time her health had become worse 😌 In fact she was never a great reader of books 😊 As far as our love for books was concerned we were poles apart! If a started an interesting book I found it difficult to sleep at night! I will keep telling myself just one more chapter or just one more page!! Anita was just the opposite! By the time she would read a page at night she would fall asleep!! Many a night I had watched her sleeping peacefully by my side, when I was reading. She used to sleep like a child😍

Both of us were very friendly and made friends easily! But before our marriage I made friends only with boys😂 I was very shy talking to girls! But that changed after our marriage😊

With God’s grace we have had many good friends and some as close as family or more! Anita’s date of birth and the day she died made me think so much about one such family.

When we got married in 1975 we were living in Ranchi, in the eastern part of India. In 1981 I changed my job and we moved to Delhi. We became very friendly with a family next door. They were Narangs and had a joint family. Three brothers, with their children, were living on one floor each, in a three story house! We were living in a rented house next door. We knew all of them well but became very close to one brother and his family. This brother (I used to call him uncle or daddy!) had two sons. Older one was studying to be a doctor and was living in a hostel. The younger one, Sanjeev, was studying in a college nearby. He became very close to both of us but he literally worshipped Anita! Most of the people in the locality, where we lived, were business people and not vey educated. And they had special love and respect for us. But as I have said Sanjeev had much more than respect for Anita. For him she was perfect – beautiful, talented, loving!

After his college Sanjeev joined his father’s wholesale business and we moved to Southern part of New Delhi. That part of the city was more upscale and happening! Though that was quite far off our relationship and love didn’t diminish with the distance. When his parents found a bride for him (it is still not uncommon in India for parents to choose a life partner for their children, at that time in 80s it was more so) he told them that Anita Bhabhi (sister in law; he treated me like his elder brother and Anita became sister in law) must see and approve the girl before he would say yes! And that was arranged and both of us loved Sakshi and they got married in 1986! Anita did all the shopping for Sakshi!

Sanjeev and Sakshi have two beautiful daughters, Hansa and Vrinda. They call me Mamu, maternal uncle, and I love them both loads 💕😍

Coming back to the point I wanted to make: Vrinda, the younger one, was born on Anita’s birthday – 25th of September and Anita died on Hansa’s birthday – 17th of September!! It could, of course, be called a coincidence! And it could also be some past life connection, some soul connect! Who knows! For me there are no coincidences!!

I have been blogging now for some months. There are millions of bloggers! And out of the blue you connect with some of them at a much deeper level than the rest! Yesterday morning only I got in touch with a blogger from Philippines for the first time and there was instant connect from both sides. During the last few months I have made good friends with bloggers young and old; males and females; from all parts of the world – from Pakistan, US, Canada, UK, Turkey, Lebanon, Panama, Africa, Scandinavia and of course India …we have become so close and we have never met! Someone is struggling for a job, another is depressed, someone is recovering from a serious sickness and another is dealing with the health of a significant other or a parent; some are sharing their joy and success. I feel for them all. I understand their pain and I suggest, guide, help wherever I can. If nothing I pray for them. And I join them in their happy times and wish them well. One of them is already like family and I am looking forward to meeting her 💕🤗 And again, yesterday only I called one of them my soul mate💕🤗

And it is not the first time in my life that this has happened! How does this work? What are the mechanics of creation? What is life and what is death? What is family and who and what are our friends?

I have no answers! And You, who is reading this post, and me are connected too and I am grateful for this connection 🙏🤗 And I shall be there for you whenever and wherever you need me.

I shall close with Guruji’s words, which I had shared earlier too:

Friendship is God’s Divine Law Of Attraction...

“”””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””‘”””””

Two stranger meet, and by an instantaneous choice of their hearts they wish to help each other. Have you ever analyzed how this happens? The spontaneous mutual desire to be friends comes directly from God’s divine law of attraction; cumulative mutual acts of friendship between two souls in past lives gradually create a karmic bond that irresistibly attracts them to each other in this life.

Friendship is a great universal force. When your desire for friendship is strong enough, though an unknown person who is spritually attuned to you be living at the South Pole, the megnetism of friendship will never the less draw you together. Only selfishness can destroy this magnetism within us. He who thinks of himself all the time wrecks friendship. Such persons cannot attract friends, because they are unable to expand and receive the good in life.

Sri Sri Paramahansa Yogananda.

Time heals nothing ….

It doesn’t….Time heals nothing…..It just teaches us how to deal with our pain.

Today would have been our 44th wedding anniversary…. that wasn’t to be. But I am thankful to God for the 36 years we were together. Whichever dimension Anita is in now, I am sure she is spreading her love and happiness. And that she is proud of me that I am doing the same. She taught me well.

Anita was not only beautiful and loving she was very talented. In fact she is the most talented person I ever met. She was a master in music (instrumental), she sang, she painted, she wrote, she had green fingers, she knew pottery and she was an actor…. plus plus …Whatever she started she became good at it. I am sure if she had started to blog she would have been very popular. Any body who met her even once didn’t forget her.

She used to teach painting and music in Delhi and used to have her own classes. We moved to Pune in 1993 for my job and she had to stop those classes. In Pune she learned pottery. And then my job took me to Mumbai and she started to act. She made more than 80 commercials and about 30 serials on TV in 6-7 years. And then she started to act in movies. Did 6-7 and then she fell sick. She was ready to leave all her work and look after my parents at Chandigarh, in North India. But that wasn’t to be. Who knows they are together in some other dimension now. And I remember them with all my love. Am blessed that I had parents like mine and a wife like Anita. And God willing we shall be together again at some other time, in some other dimension…

She had said to me once : Ashok when we grow old we aren’t going to fight, we are going to live like good friends and grow old gracefully 😊🤗 Who knows what would have our fate been if she was still around. So very often I think that the love that I feel in my heart for all, is her gift to me. She, like my mom, was just love.

Mother in Laws 😎

We have no clue about birth and death. From where do we come and where do we go. Why do we come and why do we go? Who knows !! But I do believe life is much bigger and more complex than we see on our small piece of rock.

But we are here. And let us do our best to make our lives worthy. Let us be happy and grateful. Let us be giving and caring. Let us be kind.

…..pain is a given … in this world of duality. No one can escape it. But we can help each other to lessen the pain…to make it bearable.

Pain is a given, yes. But suffering is our own creation. Many of us make our pains our suffering by the quality of the thoughts we bring to our pain.

I think being on the spiritual path helped us both. Otherwise the 5-6 years of the pain she went through and the 8 years since she passed on, would have been much more difficult to go through. Being spiritual, being godly doesn’t mean that we will be spared our pain; but it does help us to rise above the pain and the suffering. We start to look at life from a different perspective. We start to know the ephemeral nature of life and start to live more deeply. We become more mindful.

And slowly we start to understand Time. We start to live in the Now. This moment, the Now….the only reality. Past and future are mere mind constructs. Both aren’t real.

All our regrets come from living in the past and all our worries come from thinking about the future. Both aren’t real. But they make our present, the only reality, miserable.

Those weren’t easy years. Specially the last – 2011 (her disease was diagnosed in 2006) A bit of me died every day. Every day I left for work and kissed her bye …I knew one day it would be the last. And when I returned home in the evening it was even tougher. I didn’t know how she would be feeling and looking and didn’t want my face to betray my emotions and reactions. So I would brace myself before opening the door; bring a smile on my face and pray and then step in…

I can think of hundreds of things I could have done better for her and with her. But making myself miserable and unhappy thinking about the past and what could have been, neither helps me nor her. It would just make me miserable and I will make everyone around me the same.

But with His grace

I chose life

I chose love

I chose happiness

I chose giving

I chose caring

Thank God, my friend,

You are alive,

You can read and write;

Walk and talk.

Get up and get going.

Spread your cheer.

Let you light shine.

Tell people you love them.

Go and hug them.

This day is yours,

Live it.

Death is very real and

Life so fragile ….

…….TIME CONSUMES ALL

1984 at friends son’s birthday party
MGM Grand, Reno 1983 our first trip abroad
My favourite – on my parents 50th wedding anniversary in 1987. She was 31 and remained 31 for the next 25 years😍
Ooty 2006
Cape Town – she had gone for a commercial shoot.

Doing her last painting Munnar 2006
From a TV serial

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑